I swear I thought I was living that scene from Home Alone when the family is running through the airport trying to catch their plane, only we didn’t sleep in, and lucky for me no one forgot me at home or sent me to NYC.
When we arrived at Buffalo airport, we noticed that the screen said that our flight to Washington DC was canceled. That’s never a good sign. There was some bad weather in DC a few days back, but mostly I think it’s just because we were flying United, and United hates the world.
After waiting in line for one hour, the lady at the ticket counter, who hates her life because she’s a ticket attendant for United, informed us that we needed to hop in a taxi and ride to Rochester to catch a 4:20 flight to Chicago. It was 2:20 when she told us this. That’s when the whole Home Alone scene starts. The crazy part is it felt like it would never end.
We made it to Rochester with very little time to spare. We checked in and the young guy at the ticket counter, who hates his life because he works at the ticket counter for United, decided to charge us $70 for each of our second bags (which should have been free). We asked to speak to a manager, who hates his life because he’s a manger for United, and he decided to “do us a favor” and only make us pay for 2 bags instead of 3 even though he’s “not supposed to do it regardless of what the internet says.”
“Thank you” for your “kindness” sir.
We make it through security and were just walking up to the gate as our plane was pulling in. We boarded but we taxied around the airport like 6 times, or so it seemed. Because there is no way that Rochester airport is that big. I honestly thought we got on a plane that was going to drive to Chicago. But finally we took off. We landed with about half an hour before our next flight was supposed to take off, but you know those silly airline people who get you on the plane early.
As we walked up to our next gate to board our plane to Brussels, the gate attendant, who hates her life because she attends to a gate for United, informed us that we must board immediately because we’re extremely late and they’re waiting for us and we’re holding them up!
We power walked to the plane where the flight attendants, who hate their lives because they’re flight attendants for United, were very rude, and the business class people were all lounging around like, “Hey look at us and our awesomeness!” There’s no room to stow my carry-on in my cabin, so my bag is sitting in a closet somewhere on board…I hope.
As I approached my seat, it was already taken by a man who had already been moved multiple times because his seat was double booked. And I’m not sure how that’s my problem but he refused to move. So I stood there and waited for the flight attendant, who hates her life because she works for United, to find somewhere for me to sit. And I’m waiting, and I’m waiting. And people are giving me the stink eye, because obviously I’m the reason we haven’t taken off, and good grief is it HOT in here!!
Finally I was given a seat, and I sat down I finally realized what was really holding us up. There was a guy DUCT TAPING a piece of the overhead compartment back on. Not just on one of the compartments but on multiple compartments. Is it just me, or is it a sign that things aren’t going well when the plane is being DUCT TAPED TOGETHER?! And for heaven’s sake could it get any hotter on this plane?!
Then a flight attendant, who really hates her life and is seriously starting to consider a new profession, comes on the PA system and announced that since the plane was so stinkin’ hot, they deemed the food not good to eat. So we had to sit and wait for the new food to be brought so we don’t all end up puking our guts out from here to Europe (those may not have been her exact words). So we waited and we waited. And good golly it only got hotter which means all the flight attendants got more mean because not only do they hate their lives since they work for United, but now they are also dying of heat exhaustion and dehydration in their goofy wool uniforms issued by their beloved United.
Then they fed us pretzels.
And even though there’s a 90% chance we won’t make our next flight after all of that, and that sometimes I can be dramatic, I know God has it all under control.- Aly