Confused

I've been sitting here, staring at the computer screen not knowing what to write tonight. There's nothing much to say, yet there's so much.

I wanted to write something cute and witty, but that just doesn't fit tonight. It feels like a lie. I said from the beginning I wanted this blog to serve as a way for people to walk alongside us as we prepared for and went on this trip. I said there would be ups and downs. Well today, I feel like someone put us on the Power Tower at Cedar Point. It's that wild ride that crazy people love. They strap you into a seat and take you 240 feet up in the air and let you free fall back down to earth, they take you back up again, and down you go. Up and down, up and down.

Or maybe we're on the Scrambler, the one where you spin in circles while turning in circles. Round and round.

So if I could sum up the mood around here, the word befuddled comes to mind. We're in the midst of strong and confusing spiritual battles right now. There are many questions swirling around in our minds and a lot of decisions to make. I think I can speak for the family when I say it's leaving us feeling a little defeated.

These decisions we need to make come down to whether or not we are putting our trust in God or trying to control our circumstances, whether we're following God's leading or falling into one of Satan's traps. The tricky part of all of this is actually knowing which is which. Is God leading us to do this, or is he leading us not to? And it seems there are always an equal number of reasons we should do something as there are reasons we shouldn't.

I'm sorry if I've lost you tonight. But it's just been one of those days.

It would be much easier for me to act as though we have it all pulled together. Trust me. I've already gone over this post a few dozen times and almost completely deleted it. But I think we all need to be a little more honest when it comes these types of things. We all face struggles, and some days are just not all that easy even (and especially) for "seasoned Christians."

So we ask for your prayers that God will give us wisdom in knowing what to do, and that we will be willing to follow His lead no matter what that means. And also pray that God will give us strength of the spiritual battles to come. We are still 28 days away from leaving and know there is more to come. (Which I suppose in a good thing. I'd be more concerned if we weren't facing any opposition at this point).

And please know that we are praising God tonight that He knows what's going on, for already having a plan, and for giving us a network of people who support us in prayer.

- Aly